We all experience it, sooner or later our grandpas and grandmas pass away, our fish, our cat, the dog and the birds of the neighbor, all will go away from us at their fate chosen time.
Given the chance you see the time coming for your parents, take the opportunity to apply for assistance and take action.
A fatal malady will require hospital care and its association with therapeutically specialized assistance. The senior resident will need your extra help, your time has come to repay all the helping hands you got from them so long ago.
Some elder people will want to continue to work until their last breath, their retirements are just paperwork, they need the same care-giving from a close guardian, and the capacity to control them along their last months of life.
Managing their requests might be pushing too much of your unconditional love, the impression that this should be an altering lifestyle ground can be hard to understand when the arrangement seems to increasingly help them keeping the same behavior of a lifetime and doesn’t look like the last days.
It’s time for you to think what will happen and how you will feel after they pass away.
Can you feel the new calm that will be at home?
Feelings of distress are foreseen among the attached loving caretakers, the parental figure that always managed to stun us when we needed to be put back in our right tracks is now just an attempt to fight the inevitable depression as we try to come up with every kind of encouraging words.
Your capacity for help you get intensive as the end approaches, planning memorial services as you attempt to do everything you can to extend their life will require fearless passion, your loved one will try to be available for the last solace you can give, regardless of the truth both lament and use prudence to avoid discussing it at any given point.
Being prepared in managing the diminishing life factors of your parents will prepare you too for the colossal task ahead and avoiding the narrow-minded circumstance of measuring the worry and falling into depression when they need most of you.
Remember, you are a piece of their life, and probably they will want you to be the last piece they touch, the last one they will want to see before their eyes close… forever.
You will need to reconstruct yourself after all this distress. No one can endure it all and come out clean and strong on the other side. Worse if you had to deal with a disease and illness that gave you some troublesome last times.
In case you have a life partner husband or wife, make preparations together to proceed slowly in getting back to your normal life. Support is fundamental, both will have to confront the difficulties of months, and maybe years to come.
The memory will not go away soon, sometimes feels like moving away to a different life, our needs for our parents will always be imprinted deep in our souls, the capacity to move on requires baby steps and a methodology of occupation before time matures the pain and the weight of the loss gets easier to carry.
Some people sit down looking at family photos while others avoid in the beginning to relive those moments, family history can help you seeing their smile, even while tears fall from your face, lamenting also helps to ease the pain. You don’t need to do any of it and if required for your recovery at peace, you might choose to stay away for a few weeks, maybe months if needed. That’s absolutely normal.
Don’t confront the loss if not ready, instead, carry on with your life, you might need to adapt to your own new self while experiencing the departure of someone very close. It’s not troublesome if you are solid on your reasoning and don’t stress about your chosen attitude towards it.
Some people take months, years to find a new pet after their loved one died, others can never get another one, the pain is too much to bear. When it’s our parents or some close relative, the trauma spreads out to all family, the anguish seems to come from all sides with few available corners to hide and find a way to try and lift the vibe.
Move on happens. Even during those periods you need to cry, you are just traversing the magnificent things your lost one left behind, the tears are the confirmation of your love and attachment. There is no clear choice and takes a considerable mental capacity to mature the idea and leave behind an empty hole in our chest.
You will surface again, for all intents and purposes, our mind is wired to accept life as it is… from birth to end, everything gets old, everything rusts, everything passes away. We are just a tiny drop of self in an ocean of different lives.